Stories and
Inspirational Messages:
Manners:
The tired ex-teacher edged closer to the counter at Kmart.
Her left leg hurt and she hoped she had taken all of her pills for the
day: the ones for her high blood pressure, dizziness and a host of
other ills. Thank goodness I retired years ago, she thought to
herself. I don't have the energy to teach these days.
Just before the line to the counter formed, she spotted a
young man with four children and a pregnant wife or girlfriend in tow.
The teacher couldn't miss the tattoo on his neck. He's been to prison,
she thought. She continued checking him out. His white T-shirt, shaved
hair and baggy pants led her to surmise, He's a gang member.
The teacher tried to let the man go ahead of her.
"You can go first," she offered.
"No, you go first," he insisted.
"No, you have more people with you," said the teacher.
"We should respect our elders," parried the man. And with
that, he gestured with a sweeping motion indicating the way for the
woman.
A brief smile flickered on her lips as she hobbled in front
of him. The teacher in her decided she couldn't let the moment go and
she turned back to him and asked "Who taught you your good manners?"
"You did Mrs. Simpson, in third grade."
By Paul Karrer from Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul
Copyright 1999 by Jack Canfield and
Mark Victor Hansen (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
Discovery:
My class was two weeks away from opening night of our play
when Sherry walked into my classroom and in a hesitant voice announced
that she would have to quit.
Hundreds of reasons for such a declaration rushed through my
mind -- tragic illness, death in the family, a terrible family crisis.
The expression on my face prompted a further explanation.
Sherry stammered, "My boyfriend Dave wants me to quit. The rehearsals
are taking too much time away from our being together. I bring him
sandwiches after football practice."
Her boyfriend was a football player who later went on to play
in the pros. He was the opposite of his brother Dan, who also played on
the high school team. While Dan was easygoing, had a terrific sense of
humor and was liked by nearly everyone, Dave seemed to always be angry
and in need of someone to boss around.
"Sherry," I said, "we're only two weeks from opening. You're
outstanding in your role. I'd never be able to replace you."
"Really?" She beamed.
"Really," I said, and I meant it. "Everyone should be
allowed to do the things they are good at. You're a good actress. Dave
should realize that. I know you know how much he loves football."
"Yes," she agreed. "But I still have to quit."
"I'll bet you're his best fan."
She measured the words. "I am," she said.
"Has he ever been to a Saturday morning rehearsal to see how
good you are?"
"No."
"He should," I told her. "He should be your number one fan."
The next day after sixth hour, my door flew open with a
thud. Dave thundered toward me, looking twice as big as his 260
pounds. His arms dangled by his side, his large fists clenched as if
around my neck.
He leaned across my desk, veins popping, face red as a beet.
"You...you...you..." he stammered.
"Can I help you, Dave?" I asked, hoping that my voice
wouldn't shake the way my knees were.
He never got beyond "you" before he turned and stomped out
the door. I listened until the heavy footsteps started down the stairs
to the first floor.
Sherry did continue with the play, and I can honestly say
starred in her art. I also noticed that she smiled more, and I
occasionally saw her interacting with other students with a great deal
of poise.
Dave, I heard, found another girlfriend.
By Eugene E. Beasley from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul
II Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield,
Mark Victor Hansen and
Kimberly Kirberger (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
The Rich Family:
I'll never forget Easter 1946. I was fourteen, my little
sister, Ocy, was twelve and my older sister, Darlene, was sixteen. We
lived at home with our mother, and the four of us knew what it was to do
without. My dad had died five years before, leaving Mom with no money
and seven school-aged kids to raise.
By 1946, my older sisters were married and my brothers had
left home. A month before Easter, the pastor of our church announced
that a special holiday offering would be taken to help a poor family.
He asked everyone to save and give sacrificially.
When we got home, we talked about what we could do. We
decided to buy fifty pounds of potatoes and live on them for a month.
This would allow us to save twenty dollars of our grocery money for the
offering. Then we thought that if we kept our electric lights turned
out as much as possible and didn't listen to the radio, we'd save money
on that month's electric bill. Darlene got as many house- and
yard-cleaning jobs as possible, and both of us baby-sat for everyone we
could. For fifteen cents we could buy enough cotton loops to make three
potholders to sell for a dollar. We made twenty dollars on potholders.
That month was one of the best of our lives.
Every day we counted the money to see how much we had saved.
At night we'd sit in the dark and talk about how the poor family was
going to enjoy having the money the church would give them. We had
about eighty people in church, so we figured that whatever amount of
money we had to give, the offering would surely be twenty times that
much. After all, every Sunday the pastor had reminded everyone to save
for the sacrificial offering.
The night before Easter, we were so excited we could hardly
sleep. We didn't care that we wouldn't have new clothes for Easter; we
had seventy dollars for the sacrificial offering. We could hardly wait
to get to church! On Sunday morning, rain was pouring. We didn't own
an umbrella, and the church was over a mile from our home, but it didn't
seem to matter how wet we got. Darlene had cardboard in her shoes to
fill the holes. The cardboard came apart, and her feet got wet.
But we sat in church proudly. I heard some teenagers talking
about our old dresses. I looked at them in their new clothes, and I
felt rich.
When the sacrificial offering was taken, we were sitting in
the second row from the front. Mom put in the ten-dollar bill, and each
of us kids put in a twenty-dollar bill.
We sang all the way home from church. At lunch, Mom had a
surprise for us. She had bought a dozen eggs, and we had boiled Easter
eggs with our fried potatoes! Late that afternoon, the minister drove
up in his car. Mom went to the door, talked with him for a moment, and
then came back with an envelope in her hand. We asked what it was, but
she didn't say a word. She opened the envelope and out fell a bunch of
money. There were three crisp twenty-dollar bills,
one ten-dollar bill and
seventeen one-dollar bills.
Mom put the money back in the envelope. We didn't talk, just
sat and stared at the floor. We had gone from feeling like millionaires
to feeling poor. We kids had such a happy life that we felt sorry for
anyone who didn't have our Mom and our late Dad for parents and a house
full of brothers and sisters and other kids visiting constantly. We
thought it was fun to share silverware and see whether we got the spoon
or the fork that night. We had two knives that we passed around to
whoever needed them. I knew we didn't have a lot of things that other
people had, but I'd never thought we were poor.
That Easter day I found out we were. The minister had
brought us the money for the poor family, so we must be poor, I
thought. I didn't like being poor. I looked at my dress and worn-out
shoes and felt so ashamed -- I didn't even want to go back to church.
Everyone there probably already knew we were poor!
I thought about school. I was in the ninth grade and at the
top of my class of over one hundred students. I wondered if the kids at
school knew that we were poor. I decided that I could quit school since
I had finished the eighth grade. That was all the law required at that
time.
We sat in silence for a long time. Then it got dark, and we
went to bed. All that week, we girls went to school and came home, and
no one talked much. Finally, on Saturday, Mom asked us what we wanted
to do with the money. What did poor people do with money? We didn't
know. We'd never known we were poor. We didn't want to go to church on
Sunday, but Mom said we had to. Although it was a sunny day, we didn't
talk on the way. Mom started to sing, but no one joined in, and she
sang only one verse.
At church we had a missionary speaker. He talked about how
churches in
Africa made buildings out of sun-dried bricks, but they needed money to
buy roofs. He said one hundred dollars would put a roof on a church.
The minister added, "Can't we all sacrifice to help these poor people?"
We looked at each other and smiled for the first time in a week.
Mom reached into her purse and pulled out the envelope. She
passed it to Darlene. Darlene gave it to me, and I handed it to Ocy.
Ocy put it in the offering.
When the offering was counted, the minister announced that it
was a little over one hundred dollars. The missionary was excited. He
hadn't expected such a large offering from our small church. He said,
"You must have some rich people in this church." Suddenly it struck
us! We had given eighty-seven dollars of that "little over one hundred
dollars."
We were the rich family in the church! Hadn't the missionary
said so? From that day on, I've never been poor again.
By Eddie Ogan from Chicken Soup for the Golden Soul Copyright
2000 by Jack Canfield and
Mark Victor Hansen (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
KIDS ON LOVE:
Submitted by Dave & Debbie Singer
For a very long time, people have searched for the meaning of
love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions,
could not fully touch its true essence.
In a survey of 4 to 8 year olds, kids shared their views on
love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be
surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have
a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.
WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff
gets in the way.
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and
paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the
time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
When someone loves you, the way she says your name is
different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth. If life is an
'A,' love is the whole alphabet.
God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off
the cross, but He didn't. That's love.
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you
don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings.
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Love is when
you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still
want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like
that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy, and sometimes
they dance in the kitchen while they're kissing.
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents for a minute and look around.
If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a
friend who hates you.
Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no. When
you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she
won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only
does she still love you, she loves you even more!
There are 2 kinds of love-our love and God's love. But God
makes both kinds of them.
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears
it everyday.
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they've known each other so well.
Love comes from people's hearts, but God made hearts.
During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I
looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
Love is if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the
cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across
from each other and just be okay.
My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone
else kissing me to sleep at night.
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's
lots of stuff you can do without one.
Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still
says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself.
Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes
better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you
and you should just find a nicer boy.
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
him alone all day.
When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.
That's love.
Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie
theaters.
Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up
where you left off when you reach Heaven.
I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.
You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when
you're married, you just sit around and read books together.
Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd
like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying.
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you.
Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross.
Love makes you sweat a lot.
You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to
love, even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten.
You can break love, but it won't die. (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
"Installing Love"
Submitted by Awiusdi Darnell
Customer Service Rep: Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to
install love. Can you guide me through the process?
CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready
to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you
located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs
running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me
how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get
the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should
I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
COMPONENTS." What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means
that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not
yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own
machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT,
and KNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting
files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to
delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE,
and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this
normal?
CS Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but
eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is
installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One
more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's
your name?
CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known
as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Most people feel all they
need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer
(Me) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
Put another way, keep in touch. - - - Author Unknown
AWIUSDI'S CHRISTIAN CONNECTION HOMEPAGE AT index.html (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
Portrait of a Friend:
Submitted by Awiusdi Darnell
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or
fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for
answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you
ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from
your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to
be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and
put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend. ~ Unknown
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to
shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance
upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26
AWIUSDI'S CHRISTIAN CONNECTION HOMEPAGE AT index.html (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
The
Catechism of The Original Twelve Days Of Christmas
From Dave and Debbie Singer
From 1559 until 1829 the Catholics in
England were not
permitted to practice their faith openly. During this period "The 12
Days of Christmas" was written as a catechism song for young Catholics.
The song has two levels of meaning which would help the children
remember the symbol for a religious reality.
The "true love" mentioned in the song would seem to be a
suitor but according to the catechetical interpretation it is God
Himself. The "me" who receives all the presents is myself and ALL
baptized persons.
The "partridge in the pear tree" is Jesus Christ,
symbolically presented as >a mother partridge which feigns injury to
decoy predators away from the helpless nestlings. The pear tree
resembles the apple tree, part of Adam's fall.
2 turtle doves = Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = (beautiful and costly) the Gifts of Faith,
Hope and Charity
4 calling birds = the 4 Gospels
5 golden rings = the first 5 books of the Old Testament (The
Pentateuch)
6 geese-a-laying = six days of creation
7 swans a-swimming = seven gifts of the Holy Spirit
8 maids a milking = (vital nourishment) like the 8 Beatitudes
9 ladies dancing = 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 lords a-leaping = the 10 commandments
11 pipers piping = the 11 faithful disciples
12 drummers drumming = 12 points of belief in the Apostles
Creed (TOP) (Back
to Stories Index)
Will
Rogers' Philosophy and Good Advice:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
1) Don't squat with your spurs on.
2) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
3) Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n
puttin' it back in.
4) If your ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
5) If you get to thinkn' that you're a person of some
influence, try ordering someone else's dog around.
6) After eatn' an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good
he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him...The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
7) Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
8) There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one
works.
9) If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is
stop diggin'.
10) Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
11) It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of
sheep.
12) Always drink upstream from the herd.
13) When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a
person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
14) When you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have
it thrown around by someone else.
15) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over
and put it back in your pocket.
16) Never miss a good chance to shut up.
17) There are three kinds of men:
a) The ones that learn by reading.
b) The few who learn by observation.
c) The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for
themselves. (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
Fathers Anguish:
From Phil Sheldon
After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church's
pastor once again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a
very brief introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly
man stepped up to the pulpit to speak, "A father, his son, and a friend
of his son were sailing off the Pacific Coast," he began, "when a fast
approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves
were so high, that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he
could not keep the boat upright, and the three were swept into the
ocean."
The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with
two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began,
looking somewhat interested in his story. He continued, "Grabbing a
rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of
his life....to which boy he would throw the other end of the line. He
only had seconds to make the decision.
The father knew that his son was a Christian, and he also
knew that his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision could not
be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father yelled out, 'I love
you, son!' he threw the line to his son's friend. By the time he pulled
the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beyond the
raging swells into the black of night. His body was never recovered."
By this time, the two teenagers were sitting straighter in
the pew, waiting for the next words to come out of the old man's mouth.
"The father," he continued, "knew his son would step into eternity with
Jesus, and he could not bear the thought of his son's friend stepping
into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son. How
great is the love of God that He should do the same for us." With that,
the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the
room.
Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers
were at the old man's side. "That was a nice story," politely started
one of the boys, "but I don't think it was very realistic for a father
to give up his son's life in hopes that the other boy would become a
Christian."
"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied,
glancing down at his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face,
and he once again looked up at the boys and said, "It sure isn't very
realistic, is it? But I'm standing here today to tell you that THAT
story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give
up His Son for me.
You see....I was the son's friend."
By Carla Muir from Stories for a faithful Heart (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
Remember That &
Remember When:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
Hope you enjoy this - brings back some fond memories.
Close your eyes . . . And go back . . . Before the Internet
or the MAC, Before semi automatics and crack. Before chronic and indo
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo - Way back........
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk. Sittin' on the
porch, Hot bread and butter. Eatin' a 'super dooper sandwich', Red
light, Green light. Chocolate milk, Lunch tickets, Penny candy in a
brown paper bag. Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch Jacks, kickball,
dodgeball, y'all! Mother, May I? Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds, Jaw
breakers, blowpops, Mary Janes, Running through the sprinkler (I can't
get wet! . . . . Oh all right, but don't wet my hair....) The smell of
the sun and lickin' salty lips.... Catchin' lightening bugs in a jar,
Playin sling shot and Red Rover. When around the corner seemed far
away, And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.
Bedtime, Climbing trees, A million mosquito bites and sticky
fingers, Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Sittin on the curb,
Jumpin down the steps, Jumpin on the bed. Pillow fights. Being tickled
to death Runnin till you were out of breath! What about the girl that
had the big bubbly hand writing?? Licking the beaters when your mother
made a cake. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt Being tired from
playin' . . .
Remember that? Didn't that feel good . . . just to go back
and say, Yeah, I remember that! There's nothing like the good old days!
They were good then, and they're good now when we think about them.
Share some of these thoughts with a friend who can relate.
One can't be serious ALL the time, eh?
Remember when . . .
When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys,
Keds & Flyers, and the only time you wore them at school, was for
"gym." When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent
allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus. When you'd reach into a
muddy gutter for a penny. When girls neither dated nor kissed until
late high school. When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had
their hair done, everyday.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas
pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for
air. And, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had
free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. When any parent
could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and
nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When it was considered
a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with
your parents.
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed
. . . and did! When being sent to the principal's office was nothing
compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't
because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Disapproval of our
parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat!! ~ Author unknown
(TOP) (Back
to Stories Index)
A Little Perspective:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words
The Lord's prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
The 10 Commandments: 179 words
The
Gettysburg address: 286 words
The Declaration of
Independence: 1,300
words
The
US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words
(TOP) (Back to Stories Index)
I Want To Be A Kid Again:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in
"Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire
evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play
volleyball and rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was
cooties.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a
slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big
people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action
figures.
No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought
home.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for
giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a
motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group
"Sticks and stones would break our bone, but names would
never hurt you" (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
A Poem For Computer
Users:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
A computer was something on TV
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
And paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was a flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead. (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
Bon Voyage To The Losers:
From Dave and Debbie Singer
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of
entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became
President. With that in mind, we have a special offer for those who want
to act with honor and keep their promise (please)!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil
Donahue, David Gephin, Barbra Streisand, Pierre Salinger, and anyone
else who made the promise, please report to Florida for the sailing of
the funship cruise, Elation, which has been commissioned to take you to
your new vacation homes.
The
Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor
through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your
cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay....least four years. Your
captain is to be Bill Clinton and your cruise director will be Al Gore.
Monica Lewinsky will be your recreation director and Ted Kennedy will
act as lifeguard and supervise swimming instruction. He will also teach
a course in emergency procedures. Your spiritual advisor will be the
Rev. Jesse Jackson.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your
homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator
Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she
can watch over all your money and furnishings until you return. Oh by
the way we will be praying for you!
Bon Voyage! (TOP)
(Back to Stories Index)
If you have stories of an Inspirational nature and would like to see them listed on these pages please submit the stories to the webmaster by email reply1@fountaingateway.com and state that you would like your story added. All submittals will be reviewed for addition but will only be added if they meet the requirements, responsibilities and integrity that is maintained by this site. Webmaster.
